If I Just Breathe
by Sunkist01
Summary: A new girl named Candy moves to the Degrassi town. She isn't exactly the person who likes to keep her life in the spotlight, but with all the problems in her life some one takes notice and for her that means everything in the world.
1. Default Chapter

Chapter One: I Bet You Didn't Know  
  
Candy stepped out of her sister's car. She was irratated that she had to pretend everything was okay. She hated the way her sister smiled, because it really wasn't a real smile more of a fake one.   
  
Liz-I'll be here at the end of the day to pick you up.   
  
Candy-Okay...is mom gonna...(Candy started to trail off once she saw a few students looking at her)   
  
Liz-(noddings)I know what you mean, but let's talk about this at home...okay?   
  
Candy-Whatever you say...   
  
(Liz just put on a fake smile and zoomed off. Candy sighed and walked towards the horrid building called Degrassi Comunity School.)   
  
Candy-(sarcasticly)Great...just great...   
  
(Candy walked into the building eyes widen with all the groups and cliques together. She had no idea where she was going. Completely clueless Candy decided to head to the office, but as Candy was walking she accidently bumped into someone.)   
  
Candy-Oops...sorry I-   
  
Emma-(whisked around)Oh hi there I didn't see you.   
  
Candy-Yeah...(bites her lip)...   
  
Emma-Do you need help?   
  
Candy-I uh...no not really...actually yes...do you know where this class is?   
  
Emma-Oh yeah of course! I'm surprised! I have that class too!   
  
Candy-Oh cool...I guess...   
  
Emma-I'm Emma!   
  
Candy-Candy...   
  
Emma-Are you okay?   
  
Candy-What? Oh yeah I'm fine   
  
But to tell you the truth I really wasn't. I wasn't feeling okay at all, but what was I going to do, just stand there and yell YA IM A FREAK! I HAVE EPILEPSY! No way! So I carefully excused my self and shakingly went to the nurses office. I still can't believe it happened the first day, but what can you do? What can you do when you were born a freak 


	2. All Alone

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi characters or anything about or of degrassi!  
  
Chapter 2: All Alone  
  
It's the last bell and Candy rushed out of the classroom. Accidently she bumps into Craig.   
  
Candy-Oh sorry I'm in a rush.   
  
Craig-It's okay...   
  
Craig reaches his hand out to pull her up. Candy is a little surprised, but takes his hand.  
  
Candy-Thanks...   
  
Craig-So do you have a name?   
  
Candy-Oh I'm Candy.   
  
Craig-Candy hmmm...I'm Craig.   
  
Candy-(smiles and laughs)I gotta go now.   
  
Craig-Okay I'll see you later Candy.   
  
Candy-Bye!   
  
Candy could see Liz's car waiting for her. Candy sighed and went into the car. Her sister was about to ask her 50,000 questions that Candy didn't really want to answer. She just wanted to go home, but she also had to tell her sister about the minor situation that happened earlier that day.   
  
Liz-So how was your day?   
  
Candy-Liz...it happened at school today...   
  
Liz-What?   
  
Candy-Yeah, but don't worry I remembered what you told me to do.   
  
Liz-I'm so sorry Candy.   
  
Candy-(shruggs)Doesn't matter I'm a freak so let's just leave it at that.   
  
Liz-Candy you are not a freak okay!   
  
Candy-(rolls her eyes)How is mom doing?   
  
Liz-More physco than ever...   
  
Candy-She is drinking again!   
  
Liz-I went to work and she was drunk off her ass again!   
  
Candy-She's still sad over dad dying...   
  
Liz-We all are, but that's not an excuse to drink.   
  
Candy-I hope she doesn't start fighting and yelling again.   
  
Liz-Hopefully she'll stop don't worry Candy things will get better.   
  
Candy-Yeah...hopefully...   
  
It's the next morning and Candy wakes up only to hear yelling from downstairs. Candy gets up curiously and walks down the stairs.  
  
Candy-What's going on?   
  
Liz-I'm leaving!   
  
Candy-(eyes widen)What?   
  
Liz-Candy I need some time for me! I'll be back in a few weeks.   
  
Candy-What! You can't leave me here with her!   
  
Mother-Candy shut up! This is between Liz and me!   
  
Candy looked at her mother for a second. Candy was disgusted at her mother. She couldn't believe anybody would actually want to live like that.  
  
Liz-Candy just try and hold your self together! Don't worry I'll be back!   
  
Obviously she never did come back. She just wanted to get away from me. Liz was my sister, but she went off in her own little world and left me alone with the witch of evil for all eternity. I waited for ever, but my sister never did keep her promise. She lied so now I don't trust any one. Truthfully not even my self. It was my third week of school and I was miserable. My mother always drinking, yelling, and guess what! She is abusing me now too. I just wish I could be left alone from the world, but I never get anything I want. You want to know why? I am a freak thats why.  
  
I just stared at Liz for a moment and started to cry. She just shook her head and left. I couldn't bear to go to school that day, but my mother was too drunk to make an excuse for me, so I had to and trust me that was not a good idea.  
  
I walked to school trying to cover up my pain. I saw Manny sitting with Emma, J.T., and Toby. I tried to walk past them, but they caught me.  
  
Manny-Candy! Hey! Come sit with us!   
  
Candy-(shyly)Ok...   
  
Emma-Hi! What's wrong?   
  
Candy-(screamed)NOTHING! Why do you always assume somethings wrong with me!   
  
Manny and Emma look at each other confused, but didn't touch the subject again. I just sighed and walked off. I didn't want to talk to them. To be honest they were annoying me. They didn't understand me. I was a freak and who would want to hang out with a freak? For some odd reason I found my self crying. Yes, crying right in the hall. Hot tears were streaming down my face. I suddenly realized this and ran to the girls bathroom, where I saw Ellie.  
  
~Hey everyone I have spring break this week so I will update as soon as possible! Also if you don't know what epilepsy is it's where you get seizures and stop, but they have medicene for it so it doesn't effect your life that much. Anyway I am not an expert on this so don't yell at me if some of its wrong! Bye now!~ 


	3. Bonding And Being Late

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi characters or anything about or of degrassi!  
  
~Hey everyone could you please read and review my fanfic! It's my first one so don't burn me! LOL! Anyway I know the first couple chapters are boring, but I wanted to get Candy's homelife out first hand. So you know what she is dealing with.~  
  
Chapter Three: Bonding And Being Late  
  
Candy-Oh...sorry I didn't know anyone else was in here...  
  
Candy wiped her eyes so Ellie couldn't see the tears coming up. Ellie looked at her quite shocked and startled, but also wondering why the new girl was crying.  
  
Ellie-Were you crying?  
  
Candy-Oh...No...I just ummm...it's really cold outside and umm...so I uh...  
  
Candy trailed off when she saw Ellie's arm dripping with blood. It was half covered up so you couldn't see all of it. Candy looked at her a little suspicious, but asked her flat out anyway.  
  
Candy-Hey your...umm...arm is bleeding...are you okay?  
  
Ellie's eyes widen as she rushed to the sink to wash it out. Making sure Candy couldn't see the cuts on her arm. Candy just looked at her the whole time. She didn't actually think Ellie was cutting, but she had heard rumors about her. Ellie was finally done washing and wiping her arm and had covered it. Ellie looked a little embarrased as did Candy.  
  
Ellie-(softly)I guess you know I am a freak now....  
  
Candy couldn't believe she was hearing this. Ellie a freak?! She wasn't the freak! She was! She was the one with the messed up family! She was the one with epelispy! Candy just sat on the sink table and decided to confess too.  
  
Candy-Your not a freak Ellie...I am...  
  
Ellie saw Candy's eyes and knew she was about to cry. Ellie looked concerened for her. Candy was a nineth grader and she looked like she didn't want people to feel sorry for her, just like her.  
  
Ellie-Candy what makes you think you are a freak?  
  
Candy paused for a slight second. She wondered if she should tell Ellie about her epilepsy. I mean...she hadn't told anyone. And she was doing a good job keeping it a secret, but she felt she had too so she did.  
  
Candy-I umm...I have epilepspy...  
  
Ellie raised her head and nodded. What could she say to her to make her feel better? Nothing. So what good was it to lie? Candy had a distressed look on her face and jumped off the sink table and wiped her eyes. She suddenly regretted telling Ellie her secret.  
  
Candy-(chuckles a little)I can't believe I told you that...  
  
Ellie-Don't worry I won't tell anyone! I am not that kind of person trust me!  
  
Candy-Thanks Ellie...  
  
Ellie just smiled...come to think of it. That was one of the first times Ellie actually felt good. She was smiling! As Ellie was about to leave Candy said something.  
  
Candy-Ellie...I don't think you are a freak...and I won't tell anyone about your business...  
  
Ellie just smiled at Candy and left. Candy smiled too and gathered her stuff and left the bathroom.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Before Candy could get to her first period class the bell rang. Candy hit her self with her book, because that was the second time it happened to her. The first time shouldn't had even counted, because she didn't know where she was going, but with Mr. Armstrong...tsk..tsk..Candy knew she was going to get detention, but mabye there was hope. Candy entered the class a minute late and was pronounced tardy just like she predicted.  
  
Mr.Armstrong-(sternly)Candy...this is the second time this has happened!  
  
Candy just stood there nervously hoping he would stop, but he didn't.  
  
Mr.Armstrong-Candy I'm sorry, but you have detention after school today...don't be late...  
  
Candy groaned quitely and went to her desk next to J.T. She could feel everyone staring at her, and she hated that. She had detention after school! Her mother was going to flip! And not as bad as last time when she found out Liz had deserted us maninly me. She was drunk and she need some one to take care of her. Even though Candy hated doing it no one else could. The only time her mother sobered up was when she had to go to work which was only 3 days a week. She was a nurse...go figure huh? Anyway Candy just sat there while J.T. leaned over to her.  
  
J.T.-(whispers)Where were you? And why did you get all jumpy today and walk off?  
  
Candy just rolled her eyes. She hated to have to answer questions about where she was and why. Why would he even care? To tell Emma that's why. Candy leaned back over to him.  
  
Candy-(whispres)That's for me to know and for you to never know.  
  
J.T. just snickered a little and rolled his eyes. Candy went back to listening to Mr.Armstrong. Then suddenly somebody burst through the door. It was Sean...again...for the second time. Everyone was startled and looked at him. Sean just rolled his eyes.  
  
Mr.Armstrong-Mr. Cameron...can you please tell me why you disrupted my class? AGAIN?  
  
Candy watched with the rest of the class to hear his reply. Sean sighed and answered to him.  
  
Sean-I had stuff to do...  
  
Mr.Armstrong sighed and put his chalk down.  
  
Mr.Armstrong-Very well then...detention after school today! Sean glared at him as he went back to his lecture. He then pulled his headphones up and his hood up. You could tell he was listening to music. Candy rolled her eyes at him. She didn't really know Sean only that he hung out with Jay and them. They were bad people she recalled Emma saying. Emma wasn't exactly friends with him. That is all she knew, because she had tuned out when she heard the rest of it. Emma could go on forever and ever...Candy looked back on what happened earlier that morning. When she talked to Ellie. She wasn't in Ellie's grade and hopefully Ellie wouldn't tell anyone. Hopefully she would keep her promise... 


	4. Detention Of Secrets

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi characters or anything about or of degrassi!  
  
~Hey everyone here is another fabolous chapter! Lol just kidding! Thanks to all the reviews! You guys rock! :)  
  
Chapter Four: Detention Of Secrets  
  
It was the last bell of the day when Candy suddenly realized she had detention after school. Emma found Candy at her locker and she didn't look to happy.  
  
Emma-Candy...we need to talk I-  
  
Candy-(cuts her off)Can't talk Em detention!  
  
Before Emma could say anymore Candy had speeded out. Emma just gave Candy a weird look and walked off. Emma thought to herself *Why is Candy acting so strange? Detention? Is that what she said? Hmmm...*  
  
Candy was relieved when Emma didn't follow her. She finally made it to the detention room...or the dungeon. She surprisingly saw Sean there before her. The teacher got up to greet me.  
  
Teacher-Please take a seat Candy...  
  
Candy took a seat two seats away from Sean. He had his hood up, which obviously meant that he was listening to music.  
  
Teacher-Okay kids I'll be right back so you stay put...  
  
Candy-Where are you going?  
  
Teacher-To my office...  
  
Candy-But isn't this your office?  
  
Teacher-NO! This is the detention area...  
  
Candy-(rolls her eyes)Sorry I asked...  
  
And with that the teacher walked off and slammed the door. Candy groaned. She was going to be stuck there for an hour and her mom was going to be pissed. Suddenly Candy heard a voice speak up. She turned her head.  
  
Sean-So what are you in here for?  
  
Candy wasn't sure if she should ask that question, but she did anyway.  
  
Candy-I was late for class a second time in a row.  
  
Sean-So was I...  
  
There was an awkward silence and Candy's eyes widen when she heard Sean say this.  
  
Sean-I saw you crying in the hall earlier today...and run into the bathroom...are you okay?  
  
Candy didn't know if she should answer that. Who says this kind of stuff?! He doesn't even know me!  
  
Sean-You don't have to tell me...I was just wondering...  
  
Candy-I'll tell you...I was just...I...(Candy was trying to think of a good enough accuse, but she couldn't.)I don't know...something personal happened to me at home...I'd rather not talk about it...  
  
Suddenly Sean got up from his desk and moved right next to Candy. Candy was a little surprised by this, but she was kind of attracted to Sean.  
  
Candy-How about I ask you a question...  
  
Sean-(rolls his eyes)Like what?  
  
Candy-Like why do you hang out with Jay?  
  
Sean hated that question. It sort of offended him the way she said it, but he didn't let it bother him. He just gave her a simple answer.  
  
Sean-They understand me...  
  
Candy didn't buy it, but whatever. It's not like she was friends with them.  
  
Sean-So...are you going to tell me why you were crying?  
  
Suddenly Candy's cell phone went off. Candy jumped at the sound. She knew she wasn't supposed to have cell phones in here. Candy picked it up. It was her mother.  
  
Candy-Hello?  
  
Sean just raised his eyebrow trying not to listen, because he knew that would offend her.  
  
Candy heard a slurring voice, and knew it was her mother. With Sean standing right there, he was bound to know about it.  
  
Mother-Why aren't ya home girl? I miss ya!   
  
Candy-(whispering)Mom you need rest go back to sleep...please?  
  
Mother-NO! I'm comin over there! Where are ya?  
  
Candy knew this was going to take work. Sean was curious of what she was talking about.  
  
Candy-(whispering softly)MOTHER! Go to bed...I'll be home soon don't worry!  
  
Mother-Fine be like that!  
  
(Hangs up the phone. Candy sighs. Sean was staring at her the whole time).  
  
Candy-What?   
  
Sean-Who was that?  
  
Candy was getting angry. Not at Sean, just at her mother for calling her at school and embarrasing her.  
  
Candy-god! What do you care!  
  
Candy slammed her head on the desk. Then Sean knew something was definatley wrong.  
  
Sean-You need to chill! I was just asking you look really...not okay...I was worried...  
  
Sean accidently let that those last words slip.  
  
Candy-(still head on the desk)Your worried about me?  
  
Sean-Uh...yeah...you look like you are going to kill your self...  
  
Candy-Will you promise NOT to tell anyone! And if you do I'll personally kill you! I don't care if I go to jail my life is hell anyway...  
  
Sean-Okay just relax I won't tell anyone...  
  
Candy lifted her head off the desk. You could tell she was crying. Her face was all red and wet.  
  
Candy-(sniffles)Okay...I'm relaxing...(sighs)...ok my sister Liz left us a couple weeks ago. She lied to me...she said she was going to come back and she didn't there!  
  
Candy didn't want to tell him anymore. She didn't want to! It was none of his business...  
  
Sean could feel she was keeping stuff from him, but it wasn't his place.  
  
Sean-Wow...why did she leave?  
  
Candy-Because she hates my mother...and I hate her too...I wish she would've taken me with her...  
  
Sean-Don't beat your self up...  
  
Candy-What is this therapy?  
  
Sean-I'm just trying to help...  
  
There was silence for a moment. Candy wanted to ask him, but she didn't want to offend him...  
  
Candy-Can I ask you a personal question please?  
  
Sean gave a loud sigh. He knew it wasn't fair to ask her all these questions.  
  
Sean-Okay what?  
  
Candy-Well people say that you stole mr.simpsons laptop...did you?  
  
Sean was surprised Candy was asking him this. There was silence for a while...then Candy spoke up.  
  
Candy-You don't have to tell-  
  
Sean-(cuts her off)Yeah....  
  
Candy-Oh...  
  
Sean-What?  
  
Candy-Nothing...just oh...I'm not gonna tell anyone...I'm not like that...  
  
Sean-Thanks...I guess...I thought you were going to be different...your really cool...  
  
Candy smiled a little so did Sean. Just then the teacher burst through the door.  
  
Teacher-Ok! Detention is over!  
  
Candy grabbed her bag and did Sean. He followed out the door with her.  
  
Sean-Candy!  
  
Candy-(turns around)Yeah?  
  
Sean-Do you wanna hang out?  
  
Candy-oh...um...(thinks for a moment. I can just meet him somewhere and then check up on my mom...hey that could work!)uh...sure...but can I meet you some where?  
  
Sean-Okay the dot...  
  
Candy-(smiles)can't wait...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
~SMOOCHES~ 


End file.
